I Am Enough : Leslie
I first became a mom at the age of 21 in 2005. Didn’t know a thing like most first time mothers. Every time she cried I didn’t know what to do. So we’d give her a bottle. And turns out at 3 months we had to put her on a little “diet” because she was so chunky from all the milk we would give her. If that wasn’t enough to make us hold off on having another baby for a while, we had another one. She was born exactly 1 year, 5 days and 33 minutes from our first one. Then came the third one 1 year, 2 months and a day after her sister before her. So we had 3 daughters; 2, 1, and a newborn. 3 in diapers. Looking back, it was hectic. I was working a full time job as a receptionist when they were all little. Until we moved to Houston from LA in 2013. I became a full time stay at home mom. That was a stressful time because it was a new city and just getting use to being at home with the girls. It only took 2 years for us to realize Texas wasn’t for us and we moved back. Around that time, I had I had gained a lot of weight. But I was still doing what a mom had to do. Cooking, cleaning, I drove these girls everywhere with their friends, any thing school related I was there. Sports, I was the loudest mom in the stands. Especially basketball season since I played all throughout high school and knew what was going on lol. In 2016 I started my fitness journey. I joined this place where you lose 20lbs in 6 weeks. I did three of those and was able to lose 50 lbs. I then moved up and went on to do CrossFit for the next almost 3 years. 2 months into my break from CrossFit, which I’m so lucky to have done it with my oldest daughter, who was 13 at the time is when I had my stroke. 10 days in an induced coma and another 3 weeks in rehab. My right side was affected to where I wasn’t able to control it and the whole right side was numb. It still is and I’m still doing therapy as we speak. I feel a little bit of a failure as a mom in this moment as though I can’t do all the things I use to do for the girls when I was at 100%. I depend on my husband a lot for the things I was able to do and took advantage of. I’m so use to being independent and just going and buying groceries by myself, driving the girls to LA if they wanted to go to Koreatown (they’re big kpop fans) Taking them to their friends house or taking them all to the mall (which is hard to do anyways because of the circumstances we are in) but I miss being able to do the things for my girls that they’re use to. Now I rely on them when my husband isn’t home. But I am able to walk with the help of my brace, I started cooking a few months back, which I’m so happy I can do. That was another thing that made me happy. To cook for my family. And be able to ask them do you like it? Is it good?
Right now at this moment my dream is just to keep working hard to get back to as close to 100% for my family. And for them to be able to say my mom is so strong that overcame the obstacles that were put in front of her. I want my daughters to be proud of me. And another dream/goal is to be able to go back to CrossFit for myself and lift like I did before. I want to finally be able to get to that 200lb squat I was trying to get to. I was 5lbs off from it 😢 I guess that’s it. I’m sorry if my brain is everywhere. My brain isn’t the same after the stroke. Still working on getting that back to A1.
Wow!! I’m so sorry to hear about your stroke and I’m praying you will be back at 100%. I just wanted to remind you that you are enough. I know you said sometimes you wish you could do more but you are doing enough mama!!! Everything you have done is ENOUGH. You are strong, you are amazing, you’re a hardworking mother and it’s ok to ask for help mama we all need it at times. Praying for you to have daily strength. XOXO